Mar. 24th, 2007

nephthys: (tori booklove)
I don't know why I'm thinking so much about this love-issue lately. but I ask and ask myself what it is, that I never stop thinking about the people I once loved. which means: I'm definitely not thinking about them constantly BUT they pop up in my head again and again. and I ask myself questions like: "would I fall in love again?" "I have changed - would some of them love me now more/less than then?" - and on the one hand it's all the same to me, because: it's past. it's gone and nothing's gonna change that and I don't even know if I would WANT to change that... but on the other hand there's that: well, this was THEN and this is NOW and NOW I know so many things more, so many things that I could do better, see better, feel better... ah whatever. it's just... I believe I could have given people an even more pleasant time if I'd known THEN what I know today. - that sound stupid? - well, it IS stupid, somehow.

and somehow - does it matter?



and I still talk to them in my thougths. explaining. confessing. anything. still talking.

"There once was a time I was sure of the bond
When my hands and my tongue and my thoughts were enough
We are the same but our lives move along
And the third one between replaces what once was love"
--- Between, Vienna Teng ---

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nephthys

December 2009

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