nephthys: (waterhouse - lady of shalott)
maybe I will be able to go back to a social life when I've done tomorrow's last exam for this semester... maybe I will just die from exhaustion. hmmm

sleep and his half-brother death - john william waterhouse
sleep and his half-brother death - j.w. waterhouse
nephthys: (academic terms)

great now I'm really pissed. at myself. never thought this would throw me into a depression like that. yes, it's true, I'm WHINING. Why? weeeelll... this semester I took a history of literature course which I really enjoyed and the prof was just splendid he talked about thousand things like casually making references to a hundreds authors, stories and intertextualities that made just perfect sense. it never got boring everything - made just perfect sense and I only missed ONE of all the lectures of the whole semester.

now a week before the final exam we got a list of questions that would be on the test. I didn't look at them properly and when I did it was already too late to get all the things into my head that would be required to have the chance of passing this exam. this never happened to me before. I always know what to study and though I usually start studying too late I pass and get quite good marks.

thing is, this time I won't. I won't even make the effort of trying. I won't. I'll try it next semester again, doing a WHOLE BUNCH of literary and history research and THEN I will be able to answer those damnable questions.

thing is, we didn't talk about what is going to be asked in the lessons. sooo. as usual I ignored the DAMNABLE LONG SECONDARY-LITERATURE-OF-DOOM-LIST and just read the books and listened to what the prof was telling us. - usually that's the way I pass all my exams at university. I know that's lazy and lame but it kinda works for me - or let's say WORKED.

guess I had to learn it the hard way: NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE CRUELTY OF AN INNOCENTLY LOOKING literary-studies essays list!

argh! but I'm so pissed pissed pissed!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not stupid! well hush... that's the revenge for being ignorant, arrogant and having a know-it-all-affectation. FUCK
nephthys: (havi)
hier muss wieder aufgeräumt werden. hier müssen apotheosen stattfinden. hier muss es passieren.

aber ich bin zu müde. und weder zu gleichgültig noch gleichgültig genug und auch diese anderen kerzenzüngelnden gefühlsregungen. dieses sanfte kalte rauchbrennen, im herzen, wo ist es geblieben? kann man denn. ein vergessen ist es nicht. ein dämpfen, ein dumpfes ersticken, das nicht einmal weh tut. so langsam ist es.

es muss doch auch anders gehen. es kann nicht nur diese zwei seiten geben.


Jun. 20th, 2004 02:55 pm
nephthys: (havi)
give me life give me pain give me myself again give me life give me pain give myself again give me life give me pain give me myself again...

oh these little earthquakes here we go again ... oh these little earthquakes doesn't take much to rip us into pieces

so einfach.

einfach so.


nephthys: (Default)

August 2011



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